This is what I’m referring to…
Example 1: Having a particular career in mind for your future, and doing everything you need to do to get there. Sometimes the outcome is happy, and sometimes not. But in an educational system like the one I grew up in (sure, let’s pick on it, why not?), you’re encouraged to pick a career and do everything you need to get there. This is all before you even know what having that career really entails. Again, sometimes the outcome is happy: someone chose a career, drew out the path, went for it, and they enjoy their career. Other times people are displeased with their premature decisions and either start over or remain miserable out of inertia. I’m calling the end point of getting the career “making it”, and the journey “faking it”. We have an end in sight, and we just do what we’re told we’re supposed to do to get there. We presumably don’t know better. We may even question why we have to do some of the things we’re told to do (eg. the necessity of electives in university), but we are told to just do it… to “fake it till we make it”.
Example 2: A romantic relationship where one person has decided that he or she /wants/ to be with a specific other person (or kind of person), and concedes at every turn so as to avoid dealing with all of the problems in the relationship. So, “making it” refers to having a long and happy relationship with this person, and the “faking it” refers to how he/she just goes through the motions to keep the relationship from falling apart. The truth is, in a relationship (romantic or otherwise), to be genuinely happy, you need to be honest, and you can’t “fake it”. So, “faking it till you make it” fails in relationships.
Now with respect to math and physics in high school,”faking it” was doing all of the homework (lots of practice) without fully understanding the bigger picture. It can be useful for homework: “faking it” (doing all of the calculations without the understanding the theory behind it) enough times actually did help students eventually understand the concepts behind what they were doing.
So clearly, the blind guiding principle of “faking it till making it” is not always bad. There is a lot of good that may come from it. In the case of homework, it helped students develop their skills to grasp deeper concepts. In the case of getting a career, it gets you to your career. And in the case of the relationship, it helps you keep it. But! the problem in the latter 2 cases was that the end point was reached, but happiness wasn’t guaranteed. If you made it to the end and wound up not being happy, then you’d have to either start anew or remain unhappy. It’s in times like this (where I’ve reached a goal and realized that it wasn’t what I wanted) that I regretted ever aiming for it. I begin to regret having done all of the things (making all of the sacrifices) that got me to that end. I begin to ask myself if I’m happy that I even did these things and question if the memories of these things make the goal worthwhile in spite of the fact that the end-point turned out to mean nothing to me. Or would I have been happier if I had not even tried? …if I had been skeptical of what I was told I was supposed to do, questioned what I was doing BEFORE I reached the end… what if?
There were also many times when I did hesitate. I didn’t do what I was told; I didn’t act on blind faith. I didn’t trust the advice of whoever it was that was “guiding me”. And in retrospect I saw that if I had just shut up and done what I was told, I would have been able to reap the rewards of my obedience. I would have come to see the wisdom in their advice. … And then there were other times when my insolence was vindicated.
So when I said “but not even he made it. I don’t think some things ever become clearer.“, I was saying… =D
[Note: the above two examples were provided for illustrative purposes only. Any number of examples could have been used.]
The examples you show did clarify how the journey is supposed to be “faking it” while “making it” is the happiness associated with achievement of the goal. It’s an interesting interpretation. What you propose is very much like a greedy algorithm, make the best choices at the points where decisions can be made but without guarantees that the path produces the best outcome. Magic 8-balls and even experienced people can’t give you the whole truth about what the experience entails because it’s very personal. Similarly, how is a person making their own choices supposed to know when happiness is supposed to start? Once someone else shows me that the goal has been achieved? What if no one else has achieved that goal before?
I think happiness and achievement shouldn’t be tied together. There are good times and bad times associated with any achievement as well as its journey. I don’t see the journey as “faking it”, i.e. that I do what it is I do because I “know” I will be happy in the end. There are many cliches stating that the journey itself is a valuable experience. I see the “making it” something like gaining an understanding of what it was that I have achieved. If the end result is that the study material is understood or the relationship succeeds all the better. It’s important though to constantly re-evaluate what the value of the end result is. Just like any business that wishes to succeed, a static model will not survive in a dynamic environment such as ours.
What about the inverted view. That the journey involves unhappiness but happiness at completion? If at the end there is recognition of whether the achievement is happy or unhappy one, if there is recognition about what it is that makes an achievement a happy one, then it is an additional information that can be used when working towards the next step.
>>I don’t see the journey as “faking it”, i.e. that I do what it is I do because I “know” I will be happy in the end.
I think you’re missing a key point. I am only referring to journeys in which we were guided blindly on them. “We presumably don’t know better.” These are the journeys in which we “fake it”. Sometimes they are “successful” and other times not. Sometimes happiness is achieved, and others not. You’re ignoring the fact that I’ve described it as a blind guiding principle numerous times. When you don’t know better, and you were a sheep following someone’s instructions blindly, and you wind up unhappy at the end, do you or do you not question why you blindly trusted someone’s advice?!
I am intentionally excluding the cases where we are aware that what are doing (the journey) will get us to where we want to be. Example: having done research on the best path to take, and having experience and knowledge as to the effectiveness of this path. These cases can include unhappiness on the journey to an end that may or may or may not be reached, and that’s fine. That’s sacrifice. Sacrifice is worthwhile in these cases, and regardless of what combination (happy/unhappy journey + happy/unhappy end), it was worthwhile.
I never lost sight of the fact that it’s supposed to be a blind guiding principle. I was trying to point out is that the choices made about when to be sheepish and when not to be should be developed as part of decision-making process. What you’re excluding is that there exists a process distinct from the guider. During the journey you develop methods and strategies that achieve the goal. If the journey matches an internal context then why would there be questions? If it doesn’t then why shouldn’t there be questions? Otherwise it would be okay to do the same thing over and over. Humans don’t do things blindly – given options, they will make the best choice given their understanding. It may not be the “best” choice in context of the entire journey, but they made an “informed” choice to achieve what they consider happiness. You might as well talk about computers if you want to talk about true blindness of the journey.
I agree. I like your points. =)
Shahanahnah: I’m pretty sure you got it wrong. You had it disastrously wrong with a name drop to NLP, and hilariously wrong with the “greedy algorithm” comparison.
But then again, what do I know, I only have a Phd in Neuro-linguistic programming and a MA in Literature and an MSc in Computer Science.