Posts Tagged ‘Prejudice’

I think it’s absolutely fucking ridiculous that in all of my requests for financial help over the years, I always get nailed for making too much money.

What do institutions want from me?  Oh, right, I know: be destitute so that I can be eligible for the scraps that they offer me, as if they are helping me by forcing me into a corner.  As if I were lying about the financial costs, and demands on my time as a caregiver for elderly parents with no other family and no other resources.  I work and make an honest living, but apparently, I’d only be eligible for help if I didn’t, and were on welfare.

Well, fuck you, system.  Fuck you.  Just say what you really want to say: I’d rather you go into debt than provide help to you in developing a foundation in life from which you could actually potentially build a future.  This is because I let poor people just barely stay afloat.  If we helped people who worked for a living, well, they might actually get somewhere.

These are the real messages you’re sending with the rules that you have set up.

NB:  My opinion on going into debt for education is that you shouldn’t.

Growing up in a multicultural society such as that in Etobicoke-Lakeshore, and then going to the University to study Math, I was never really made to feel like a minority.  It wasn’t until I started working full-time in an office that I did.  I still remember the event that did it.  It was a birthday party – one of my associates had invited me to a birthday party.  The party was to begin at a bar where the attendees were to get wasted before going to a club later on in the evening.  I showed up alone.  I didn’t know anyone besides the co-worker that invited me.  I began to introduce myself to the other guests.  At that point in time, I hadn’t yet quite put my finger on what about each person it exactly was that I disliked, but I was certain that I wasn’t enjoying anyone’s company.  It wasn’t until the following exchange that I figured it out:

Guest: “Does it feel strange being the only guest who isn’t white?”

I looked at the group and I realized that I was the only person who wasn’t white.  I not only failed to notice, but failed to be bothered … up until that point.

Guest: “You know, I have a cousin who lives in a small town near England who has never seen a black person in real life before.  Can you imagine?”

Me: “You know, I have a cousin in the Philippines who lives in a small town far from the main cities who has never seen anyone besides Filipinos. ”

She looked at me and smiled pleasantly, so as to agree that our cousins truly were unfortunate.  It saddened me to see that the message I was trying to send had just gone over her head.  At the time, I was disappointed, but whenever I retell this story, I laugh.  I laugh so hard … until I cry.

In the eighth grade, I wrote and recited a speech on Dating in the public speaking competition.  It was more like an insightful comedy act where I covered such topics as asking someone out on a date, telling your parents about the date, and dealing with gossip.  Within my school, I placed 1st and was given the opportunity to compete in Regionals.  So, I did.

I wish I had had enough wherewithal to have expected the poor reception of my speech, and that my school administrators could have had enough courtesy to have warned me.  Perhaps they didn’t want me to backout, realizing that my ignorance of prejudices could endow me with confidence as I recited my speech in front of a very conservative panel.

But it was certainly a learning experience to have been handed my ribbon for my participation, and have a woman that I looked up to whisper a snide remark into my ear as she shook my hand for the photo.  After all, I’ve now had the pleasure of having a lifetime of these moments, and I don’t foresee an end to them any time soon.